Greens propose inflation-powered windfarms

The Green Party promised they would announce a big election policy at their party conference in Lower Hutt today, and they have delivered. Tired of claims that their policies will cause inflation, the Greens are promising to put inflation to good use: powering wind farms. Russell Norman explained this in a recent interview, saying:

“I think a ‘policy neutral’ approach looks at the benefits of inflation. Inflation can be extremely powerful, and is carbon neutral. The Greens will use inflation to power a new generation of clean tech that grows green jobs. We have a fully costed policy that will use inflation to power the wind farms of the future, and create five trillion green jobs for hard working kiwis throughout the country. And we’ll fund this project with new ‘tax opportunities’ for the rich.”

Screenshot 2014-05-31 17.20.22

When asked about the impact of these new taxes on Gross Domestic Product (GDP), Norman replied “Well, we don’t see why we need to just accept GDP. It’s one measurement amongst many. There’s also the HPS Index (Hybrid/Prius/Smugness) and the GCM (Green Cabinet Ministers) Index, both of which New Zealand does quite poorly on. But the best thing for kiwi kids is to make a responsible, carbon-neutral transition from GDP to ‘DDP’- Delicious Domestic Product. Because when you think about it, who really wants their Domestic Product to be Gross?”

When asked about the policy, Labour announced that they had something very very similar in the works, albeit with minor improvements such as a ban on immigrants and restrictions on shower heads.

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