What Left parties now stand for

The politics of immigration has taken a bizarre turn in recent months, with Left parties calling for restrictions, limitations and even outright bans on certain acts by foreigners. Immigrants, especially Chinese immigrants, are being increasingly blamed for rising house prices and interest rates.

The Winston-isation of the Left has got me thinking. What do Left parties actually stand for? Here’s my completely serious and not-at-all-joking take on the party names:

G.R.E.E.N.S
Get Rid of Emigres, Except Nice Socialists
Gladly Removing Excess Expatriates, Nevermind Solidarity

L.A.B.O.U.R
Likes Asians Being Overseas. Unsure on Refugees
Let’s Advance Bans & Open the Undercurrent of Racism

M.A.N.A
Migrant Asians Not Accepted
Marxists Against New Arrivals

N.A.T.I.O.N.A.L
National Appreciates This Influx Of New Asian Lenders
National Always Tells Investors Options for Notifying & Advising Legislators

NZ F.I.R.S.T
Force Immigrants to Reside in Small Towns
Fuck Immigrants & Refugees. Scotch Time!

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